For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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