Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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