Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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