I want to walk on stilts...naked
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
