I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize