I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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