dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish you could order shots online.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
