Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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