My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.