the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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