Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
