he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
