We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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