That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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