Don't you send me to vm
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
