she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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