butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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