i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
