She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He passed out mid-signature
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
