So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize