Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I love you.
Bad choice
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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