I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
soo... how was my night?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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