An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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