Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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