I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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