Im at strip club and am horny
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
