I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
