just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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