Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
