I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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