when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
