apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Go christen that room with your naked body.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
