Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
