he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize