His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
