you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
