My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize