i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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