i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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