bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
