Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
