i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
