your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
