you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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