I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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