Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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