Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize