M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
