According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
