Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
