She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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