So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
