okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
