Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
