Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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