Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
my nose is crying tears of wow.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize