just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
